I came across a podcast about how important it is for leaders to walk in repentance. You know I wanted to click “stop” and say “Oh I don’t really need this message.” Thank God I did not click “stop” and instead listened and wept.
I wept because I realized the very root of most of my sin is fear. Fear robs my faith to believe a difficult situation will be ok when I hand it over to my Faithful God.
This root of fear manifests itself in my life through the sin of control? I struggle with being a control freak. I’ve taken a self-evaluation survey and my score was off the charts. My husband and family would tell you I didn’t really need the evaluation because they could have told me that themselves.
It just frustrates me and breaks my heart when I hear this because honestly, I’ve walked all these years thinking my desire to control everything was just me trying to be helpful.
There’s a fine line between helpful vs. controlling.
My kids used to say, “Mom you always walk in at the wrong time.” They would try to convince me there was just this one bad part in the movie, song, book, conversation and I happened to walk in during that one part.
My co-workers in various jobs might agree I have the gift of spotting mistakes. I tend to see the glass half empty, not half full and I want to see how things could be just a little bit better.
Listening to the podcast brought up this sin of seeking to gain control of situations and of others in my heart. So I took it to the Lord and asked Him to show me the root of my sin. He has the power to show us where strongholds and false beliefs begin, and the root of sin.
The root of a controlling spirit is fear.
Oh, the fear that a bad thing will happen. I mean if kids watch/listen/read un-biblical material, they will grow up and doubt God is real, right? If I don’t help my co-workers or others around me see mistakes, a whole project could fail, right? If we don’t see how things could be better we will become complacent, right?
When fear rears its ugly head I push God aside.
While those things might, in part, be true, the reality is when fear of the future becomes my focus, I’m ultimately saying to the Lord; “I do not trust You to work this out or to convict and show others what needs to change.”
I’m stepping into the shoes of the Holy Spirit and taking it upon myself to show others what is wrong. I’m trying to prevent my worst fears from coming to pass. Reality is, I cause a lot of friction in my relationships with those around me when I behave this way.
When I allow fear to control me, I separate myself from my Heavenly Father.
I begin to take matters into my own hands, trying to manipulate circumstances so as to bring about the outcome I think is best. I become an obstacle to God’s will being accomplished in my life and in the life of others.
When I recognized this as sin I wept. It is not my hearts desire to interfere with the Lords work. Do you know He will allow us to take the reins and run amuck because He has given us free will? He will allow us to try to control and manipulate our circumstances.
But God is Love.
In His gracious compassion He grieves and beckons for us to come back to Him, to trust that His ways are so much better than ours. He longs for us to not lean on our own understanding and to stop long enough to acknowledge Him so that He can make our paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Today I repent. I lay down this fear bad things will happen in the future.
Truth is bad things are going to happen BUT God will not allow anything to separate me from His love.
Romans 8:38-39 (Amplified) “For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I’m sure I will attempt to take control again and again, but I am confident the Spirit of God who lives in me will remind me fear never produces any good thing. I will remember who He is and what His promises are for those who believe. If God is for us, who can be against us!
If you really are struggling with fear, condemnation, forgiveness, hopelessness, belief of who God is or who we are because of our belief in Him, I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Romans 8 for the next 7 days and watch the power of His word strengthen and set you free!
I’d love to hear from and to pray for you!
Would you consider sharing in the comments section below or by sending me a private message to firstname.lastname@example.org We open the gate to Hope through our shared brokenness!